Atrocities of Cinema: Vase De Noces

Time for a film review!
Today we'll be exploring the depraved 1974 Belgian film Vase de Noces, which translates to The Wedding Trough. However, the movie is better known as The Pig Fucking Movie.

I'm not making this up.

This is about as bad as movies get. It's as boring as it is disturbing. You'd think a movie known as The Pig Fucking Movie would have quite a bit of pigfucking in it, but there's not. Thankfully the pigfucking is limited to a short scene about a quarter of the way through the film. Unfortunately for the audience, this leaves the filmmakers over an hour of time to waste after the movie has already blown its load, so to speak.

I would love to quote some of the brilliant dialogue from this film. Unfortunately, there is none. There is only a single human character, who has no interactions with any other human. Not a single word in the whole pigfucking movie. Just bizarre music and animal noises and a bell. That's all you'll hear.

The plot can be summarized as such. Man puts doll heads on pidgeons. Man walks around farm with pig. Man chops of chicken's head then throws headless body in a cage to run around in. Man puts disgusting things in jars. Man blindfolds himself then chases pig around farm. Man rolls around in manure pile with pig. Man fucks pig. Pig gives birth to piglets. Man hangs piglets. Pig drowns herself (apparantly due to grief at seeing the man hang her offspring). Man buries pig and tries to bury himself. Man eats shit. Man drinks shit-piss tea. Man vomits. Man hangs himself.

Interspersed between these scenes are assorted clips of animals gettin' it on (chickens, mostly) (no, he doesn't fuck the chickens, they just fuck each other.)

The worst thing about this movie isn't the pigfucking, (which is brief, not terribly graphic, and possibly faked). It isn't the animal abuse (all unfortunately very real). It is the snail's pace at which all of these events occur. It is so mind-numbingly boring that you actually want the man to fuck the pig again, just so that there's some sort of action on the screen. If you insist on actually watching this vile filth, do yourself a favor, and watch at double-speed. Since there's no talking, you won't actually be missing anything, and the reduced-running time will make The Pig Fucking Movie a little less intolerable.

If you liked Cannibal Holocaust but thought there was too much action and too little bestiality, then this is the movie for you. If you thought Pink Flamingos had too much talking, and was too tasteful, this is the movie for you.

If you like movies with a plot, and characters that speak, and are offended by animal abuse and bestiality, you may want to avoid it.

I doubt you'll be able to find this movie legitimately anywhere. It's not out on dvd. You can't buy it at Wal-Mart. Good.

This is not a date movie. A copy of The Pig Fucking Movie is not the perfect gift for your mother's birthday. This is not family entertainment. This is not even entertainment. It is no fun at all.

Final Score: (0/10)
This movie sucks.