zeitgeist addendum

watch it. now.

The Windoze Fista and you.(Part One)

It happened. There was nothing you could do.

It was on there when you bought it.

There are no drivers for some of your hardware for XP.

Ditto Linux.

Hell, you even tried OSX86...

You've been Fista'd

BALLMER ATTACK!

As it comes preinstalled on your computer, you will have a big pigfucking mess to clean up. Fista's well documented atrocities fall into several categories: UI stupidity, OEM Garbageware Pre-installed (a long standing windows problem), and Illusions of security.

You don't have Fista? You're "lucky" enough to be still using XP? Read on, my friends, as much of this information will also be helpful to you as you battle that slightly less hideous monstrosity.

So, you're feeling it now The fist. Just about the first thing you wanna do is strip that fucker down to everything but the drivers. Depending on your vendor this may take a while. Don't worry about anything but the drivers. Everything that came with your computer is shit. So, fire up your control panel and go to Add or Remove Programs...

FUCK!

THEY FUCKING MOVED IT!

For no goddamned reason, in Windoze Fista, Microsoft saw fit to move all the control panels in classic mode around and rename some. "Add or Remove Programs" has become "Programs and Features." "Display Properties" has become "Personalization." Since they are sorted alphabetically, their location has moved, and their names are less descriptive as to what they actually do. This was done specifically to fuck with you. Microsoft isn't just in the business of selling shitty software, they also sell incompetent support and meaningless certifications.

So go into "Programs and Features" and get rid of everything but the drivers.
But you're thinking, "But I need Nero to burn cd's and stuff" or whatever. Just shut the fuck up and get rid of it. All of it. If you don't know what it is, you should probably get rid of it. If it's a driver it will have the name of the manufacturer on it, like ATI or NVIDIA or Realtek or Intel or that kind of shit. Keep your drivers.

So, Now that you've got all that cleaned up, it's time to install software that you actually want and will use. All of the following is available for free. Most of it is open source. Usually, in my experience the free programs are the best ones. Proprietary software is designed to make money first, and be useful second. Free software only needs to be useful, so it tends to have fewer impediments.
I recommend the following (I'm too lazy to provide links. Just Google 'em):
Mozilla Firefox - Don't use Internet Explorer. Ever. The only website you should ever visit with explorer is www.getfirefox.com.
VLC - Video player
Foobar 2000- Music Player
Avast - Antivirus
The GIMP - Image editor (Photoshop type stuff. A truly wondeful program)
Launchy - Application Launcher. Vista's start menu is a clusterfuck. Classic Mode blows as well. You know what you wanna' do. Go straight to it with launchy. I find this program indespensible and use it hundreds of times a day.
OpenOffice.Org - Free replacement for MS Office. About 99% compatable with MS office bullshit proprietary formats. (Unfortunately, 99% often isn't good enough)
Abiword - Lightweight fast word processor
InfraRecorder - CD/DVD burning
Virtual CloneDrive - Disk Image mounter.
Foxit PDF Viewer - Infinitely faster than Adobe Acrobat and without constant annoying updates that only degrade performance.
Pidgin - Multi-Protocol Instant Messenger. Supports AIM MSN Yahoo GoogleTalk and more. OTR plugin is available for encrypted IM. USE IT!
Free Download Manager - Another great program for windows. Adds resume support to Firefox or IE so that when your internet connection craps out during a download you don't have to start it all over.

This is not a comprehensive list. I've found that the best way to find quality free software for windows is to simply google "spen source [program type] windows." For example, if I was looking for some sort of accounting software for windows, I would google "open source accounting windows" and then i would find GNUCash, which is a halfway decent program for doing that sort of thing and it's free.

The next thing you're gonna' want to do is disable User Account Controls. UAC is a fucking joke. It is merely the illusion of security. All it really does is annoy the user. That's what it was intended to do. MS has admitted it.
The easiest way to do this is with MSCONFIG.
Hit WindowsKey-R to bring up the Run dialog. Type "msconfig" (without the quotes), then click ok. Click on the "Tools" tab, then scroll down to "Disable UAC." Click to select that line, then click on launch. A command prompt window will open up and then when it's done, click ok in msconfig. Reboot your computer and you're done.

To enable log in as administrator: (Not recommended, but some older programs that you may need may require this in order to install and run properly) Go to Start>All Programs>Accessories then right-click on Command Prompt and select "run as Administrator"
enter the following line:
net user administrator /active:yes
Hit enter. Reboot. Done.

Only the best

"For the best Democratic Convention video experience..."
I'd be happy to settle for a sub-standard Democratic Convention video experience as long as I don't have to install Silverlight and whatever the fuck this Move Player is.
As if Flash wasn't bad enough...
Democracy, brought to you by Microsoft. Linux not supported.

Fuck this shit.
Fuck Joe Biden too, his stance against net-neutrality helps make this bullshit possible.
Balls!

Atrocities of Cinema: Vase De Noces

Time for a film review!
Today we'll be exploring the depraved 1974 Belgian film Vase de Noces, which translates to The Wedding Trough. However, the movie is better known as The Pig Fucking Movie.

I'm not making this up.

This is about as bad as movies get. It's as boring as it is disturbing. You'd think a movie known as The Pig Fucking Movie would have quite a bit of pigfucking in it, but there's not. Thankfully the pigfucking is limited to a short scene about a quarter of the way through the film. Unfortunately for the audience, this leaves the filmmakers over an hour of time to waste after the movie has already blown its load, so to speak.

I would love to quote some of the brilliant dialogue from this film. Unfortunately, there is none. There is only a single human character, who has no interactions with any other human. Not a single word in the whole pigfucking movie. Just bizarre music and animal noises and a bell. That's all you'll hear.

The plot can be summarized as such. Man puts doll heads on pidgeons. Man walks around farm with pig. Man chops of chicken's head then throws headless body in a cage to run around in. Man puts disgusting things in jars. Man blindfolds himself then chases pig around farm. Man rolls around in manure pile with pig. Man fucks pig. Pig gives birth to piglets. Man hangs piglets. Pig drowns herself (apparantly due to grief at seeing the man hang her offspring). Man buries pig and tries to bury himself. Man eats shit. Man drinks shit-piss tea. Man vomits. Man hangs himself.

Interspersed between these scenes are assorted clips of animals gettin' it on (chickens, mostly) (no, he doesn't fuck the chickens, they just fuck each other.)

The worst thing about this movie isn't the pigfucking, (which is brief, not terribly graphic, and possibly faked). It isn't the animal abuse (all unfortunately very real). It is the snail's pace at which all of these events occur. It is so mind-numbingly boring that you actually want the man to fuck the pig again, just so that there's some sort of action on the screen. If you insist on actually watching this vile filth, do yourself a favor, and watch at double-speed. Since there's no talking, you won't actually be missing anything, and the reduced-running time will make The Pig Fucking Movie a little less intolerable.

If you liked Cannibal Holocaust but thought there was too much action and too little bestiality, then this is the movie for you. If you thought Pink Flamingos had too much talking, and was too tasteful, this is the movie for you.

If you like movies with a plot, and characters that speak, and are offended by animal abuse and bestiality, you may want to avoid it.

I doubt you'll be able to find this movie legitimately anywhere. It's not out on dvd. You can't buy it at Wal-Mart. Good.

This is not a date movie. A copy of The Pig Fucking Movie is not the perfect gift for your mother's birthday. This is not family entertainment. This is not even entertainment. It is no fun at all.

Final Score: (0/10)
This movie sucks.

The American Political Scene (NSFW)

They're really all in bed together. Obama pounds Clinton, while McCain waits his turn to get back into the action.


Now, i know what you're saying:
"Don't drop out, Hillary! I'd hate to see what would happen if these two were left alone!"

Paint-huffer in Chief

Oh say, can you see / by the paint on your face / how fucked up you are / you evil-ass bastard?

Super Size Me (With Whiskey)

Mike Gravel is Weird

Senator Mike Gravel, has left the Democrats and has joined the LIbertarian party.
To celebrate he has released a new music video, a cover of "Helter Skelter"



It's the best Beatles cover since William Shatner's cover of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

Vortex Based Mathematics

Marko Rodin shaves his head, but not his shoulders. This would be fine if he wore a real shirt. I've shaved my head and not my shoulders, but i wear fucking shirts. He doesn't. He wears a wifebeater, perhaps to say, "Hi, I'm Marko Rodin. I have some of the hariest shoulders ever in the history of humanity, even harier than W.FMRA's. I shaved my head because people found it too distracting while trying to admire my outstandingly hairy shoulders."



If you actually are able to sit and watch this guy talk for 4 and a half hours, I'll give you a cookie. Just come over to my house and say, "Hey, I watched that whole Marko Rodin's Vortex Based Mathematics video. Where's my fucking cookie?"
i will say, "I don't have any cookies right now. I wasn't actually expecting anybody to make it through that whole thing. Come back later and maybe I'll have some cookies." if you come back several times, i just might get a cookie for you.

For a shorter version, visit his website.

Flotsam and Jetsam's MCA releases to be reissued!

Polish record label Metal Mind is reissuing Flotsam and Jetsam's three albums released on MCA records with bonus tracks including their 1995 masterpiece Drift.

The run is limited to 2000 copies, which is a shame, since these albums have been out of print for over 10 years and are next-to-impossible to find.

Drift is one of my favorite albums ever. The lyrics were penned by bass player Jason B. Ward shortly after the suicide of his brother Jeff Ward (who used to play drums in NIN's touring band). To describe it in one word, i'd use "grim."

This is some of the best metal you'll ever hear. Drift is Flotsam at their artistic peak. Everything is perfect. Eric A.K.'s vocals never sounded better. The guitar work is great. The bass is awesome. The drums are incredible. The emotional intensity of this album is what really blows me away. From the opener "me" to the coughing-on-pitch fade out of "Poet's Tell," There's a lot of rage and fury, but also a deep grief and sense of loss. A line of sarcasm runs through every song from the bitter to the bittersweet. They have other good albums, to be sure, (The also-reissued Cuatro (MCA 1993) is very good, and High (metal blade records, 1997) is also excellent) but Drift is really something else. I'm tempted to go out on a limb and call it the best metal album of the 90's.

Get it while you can.

Now we will be hearing expert testimony from: ...

Angelina Jolie?


Yes, that's right. Not fucking making this up.

Congresswoman Thelma Drake (R-VA) wants Angelina Jolie to testify IN FAVOR of the war in Iraq.
She wants to call upon her to praise the effectiveness of the "surge"

"Ms. Jolie's experience as a U.N. goodwill ambassador has given her the opportunity to travel to Iraq, speak with our military leadership and gain a ground-view understanding of how our long-term strategic objectives in Iraq and the region are met," Drake said.

Wow. She's not just an expert in being hot, i guess.

In Lies we Trust

Someone should take this guy's bluescreen away. This vid reminds me of endgame, but without the snappy music and Alex Jones' cool voice.

41min: Weaponized kuru sounds like fun.

Watch Out, iTunes

Songbird is a relatively new entry in the media player field.
It resembles iTunes in many ways, including a cover flow type plugin. It's based on mozilla and has a built-in web browser.

Why the fuck would I want a web browser built into my mp3 player program?
Integrated SkreemR search, for one. Firefoxish plugins and extensions, for another.

watch it in action.


It's still in development and is buggy as fuck as of v0.4. It crashes a lot on windoze vista, but on ubuntu it has been relatively stable. I have yet to test this on osx.

Download and enjoy.

Yes, you can go back home. (!!!NSFW!!!)

Keep trying, buddy. Once you get past the shoulders it gets easier.
www.pressurespot.com

Caution: This comes from the same jerks who brought you meatspin.com and teensluts.biz (intentionally not linked). It may scar you for life.

You've been warned.

Don't Copy that Floppy...

...or else you'll have to listen to this asshole rap some more.